Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone

After attending the May Women’s Confident Leadership Camp many students of horsemanship on my yahoo chat group have been discussing the fact that getting out of their comfort zone at camp has changed their lives.

This morning I was reading the latest Savvy Times. There was an article in it about Katie Drake, Pat's Niece and Mary Ann Kennedy writing a new song. Here is a little from this article: It is very appropriate for a discussion on getting outside of your comfort zone.

Lyrics from the song:
"When you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting what you've always gotten. The winds of change are runnin'through my veins, but this voice inside me, it keeps on talkin".

The article says: "That voice inside talking me out of change is none other than the familiar voice of FEAR! Afraid that taking the step of change in my life would lead to failure, I stay stuck in a perpetual cycle of procrastination and avoidance. The times when I've been able to take a step at a time, no matter how small, I've been able to break free from fear's stronghold and move toward my dreams."

How often do you get talked out of change by your fear and the feeling that the mountaintop dreams we have are unattainable?

Katie hopes, “this song encourages those who hear it to consider what they dream to do, and that it inspires them to start on the incredible journey, be it one small step at a time."

Are you ready for change?
I have been adding change to my horsemanship skills by going to more clinics myself this year. I am studying with Kirsten Nielsen, Karen Rolhf, and Bryan Neubert. I am learning how to help my horses stay in more correct posture and balance with better energy mixed with relaxation. It is turning into quite a lovely ride and more beautiful picture. Plus I can tell my horses are more eager to please because they are feeling better in their physical body as I work with them.

I am finding that quality movement in an exercise is more important than just going through the motions of the exercise. The changes in my horses are very significant. I am also discovering more about riding posture and how dramatically it effects not only the efficiency of movement of the horse but his behavioral issues also melt away as the rider improves posture, feel, timing, and balance.

So if you haven't been to one of my clinics in a while, I promise you are going to learn something new which will change both you and your horse for the better, if you apply the principles and skills.

Here is what Alison had to say about her camp experience:
For those of you who have attended a Women’s Confident Leadership Camp, I imagine you will agree with me when I say…WOW!! For those horsewomen out there who have not attended and are thinking of it…GO!! I knew this would be a tremendous experience of learning, bonding and growing with my horse Snap, but it exceeded my expectations. I had a horse who needed some “remedial education” with respect issues and in a short amount of time working with Sherry (and a time out!) Snap was changing for the better and so was I.

Sherry’s level of commitment to each student is amazing and the atmosphere of caring and support (during tears of frustration and elation) from Sherry and the other women is something I will carry with me for a long time. As the days pass, I am reflecting more and more on how this has changed my relationship with my horse and how I view fear in my life…this was life changing for me. The camp setting is terrific- peaceful and pampering…no worries about anything, a total escape. The food was wonderful and so was the hospitality from the Switzer’s. I have been able to take what I learned from camp and transfer my new skills to working with Snap at home…what a blessing!!

I’ve had Snap for 3 years, I do feel like we’re starting over and the best is yet to come!! I’m mad at myself for not “moving closer, staying longer” a couple of times at camp as I know my confidence would have grown even more. Snap was fine, I was in a safe learning environment but my head was thinking negative thoughts from Snap’s previous behavior. I wasn’t living in the moment but now I know how to do that. I can still hardly stop thinking about camp and how much I enjoyed it, even the rough spots because I was learning something…what an experience!!

Cindy’s thoughts on the comfort zone:
I think I've learned the most when I am OUT of my comfort zone. Just a little out, not way out! But you will get better at that as you do it more and more. Don't have regrets, hang on to those positive moments that moved you! Just going was a big step. Now it will only get better and better! It is hard to turn off the light bulbs of camp isn't it!? I honestly feel like I have floods of information swirling around my little head, and as time goes on, more and more soaks in. Especially when the fear is gone.

Lois talks about her camp experience:
I think it was a lot easier to push out of my comfort zone with all the support and encouragement we had at camp. I also learned so much as well as found I was making things a lot harder for myself. I am definitely thinking more now and am more aware of the responses I am looking for.

Everyone was sooooo right. What an experience and you had better believe I will be telling everyone about it. Very much worth driving 7 hours. I learned so much and really saw what a great equine partner I have. Moose was like a giant sponge and was like, "OK what are we doing next"...Goes to show...where the issue is...me....

Anyway my biggest aha was to focus on when I work on doing something and I am not thinking about a spook or fear. Got some great things that we can work on at home and even went on a trail ride.

I do have to say Sherry is like the energizer bunny...she goes and goes and goes...she worked way harder than the rest of us and did it with a smile and let me help you. I feel honored to have had the chance to come to a camp and you can count on the fact that there will be another. I am hooked.

Question about clinic topics:
I had someone ask me what will be covered at the clinic this weekend, here is a brief overview. But it can change when the riders and horses show up, because I take people and horses from where they are. I don't try to put everyone into the same mold. Any behavior issues will be addressed as needed as well as rider confidence.

The clinic will have ground work in the morning, to help your horse relax and pay better attention to the handler, to syncronize with the handler while walking, trotting, stopping. The horse will be asked to find self-carraige on the circle with smooth efficient transitions which would be easy for the rider to ride. We will seek the kind of self-carriage that will empower the horse and make it easier to carry a rider, plus harmony and fluidity of movement will be a goal, as well as impulsion.

In the afternoon the riders will be instructed on getting and keeping their horses attention, executing a proper one-rein stop, and efficient mounting and dismounting. Better seat control where we help the horse stay straighter left to right and front to back again for staying power, relaxation even when using energy, and better self-carraige. Directing and redirecting the horse (left/right and forward/backward) will also be evaluated.

If you have any further questions, don't be afraid to call, it is FREE to ask questions.

Happy Trails,
Sherry Jarvis

"Horsemen share knowledge. Showmen hide it in a corner and go home." -- AQHA Judge Dale Livingston

Learning From Young Horses

As many of you know I did not make my monthly trip to Omaha and Lincoln this month for lessons. I had the privilege to stay home and start some very nice young horses with my intern Erica. It has been a lot of work but very fun. At the beginning of the month the owners spent three days with me preparing their horses for their beginning. Erica and I developed them into real nice riding horses in less than 30 days. The owners are coming back to get their horses today, and we are real excited to take them trail riding on their new horses. Here is a report written by Julie Williams about her observations from the clinic at the beginning of the month with these young horses.

What a wonderful day everyone had at Sherry's today. The sun kept things warm enough, the wind blew but it was tolerable, and the everyone learned a lot. I took photos all day, and it was fun to see how much progress the young horses and their owners had! Sherry is so good at explaining things!

Thought I'd share my observations from a colt starting clinic I attended on Friday. I was photographer for the event and while I was only there Friday, it did continue through the weekend. I've been very impressed by her communication ability to help people learn to work with their horses.

We are quite unconscious of the importance of our body movements; we intellectualize communication thru language. 92% of our communication between people is body communication, yet we are unconscious of it---it is unconscious. Presently, we are even more focused on words, written or spoken, to convey meaning because of our techni-digital era. Horses are creatures of movement and intention, not words; and most people desensitize their horses to intention through sloppy, inconsistent or ignorant body "language".

Horses don't use words. This morning's CBS Sunday Morning program gave a feature on Helen Keller, showing a scene from the old movie w/Patty Duke where her teacher was using the water pump to teach the girl her first signed word "w-a-t-e-r". The teacher pumped the handle, water gushed out onto Helen's hand holding a pitcher, and the teacher signed the letters into Helen's other hand. It struck me, as I watched the news feature, how like Helen's ah-hah moment was like what I saw at the colt starting clinic. Our communication with horses is like this movie scene.

When Sherry demos with someone's horse, it usually begins as though they are deaf and blind to her. Then she commences. Sherry uses the lead rope and halter, her body, etc. to get the horse's attention---and she translates her intent with deliberate consistency and simplicity. When the horse give the slightest try it is rewarded with a dramatic withdrawal of her pressure. Eventually the horse has his own Helen Keller "Ah-Hah moment"--as when Helen connects the miraculous connection of moving fingers in the hand to the water gushing over her. W-a-t-e-r mean this liquid wet stuff. Sherry's body position/motion means halt, go, slow, look at me, etc., etc.

Half way thru the first day the horses are truly getting their ah-hah moments with their owners and it shows in the photos I took-- in their eyes, on their faces. At this point the horses have realized that movement means specific things. There are expectations, intentions. They start looking at and to their person for meaning. The face, the eyes are searching for "what is next?". They no longer look bored or anxious, but very interested.

Several weeks ago Linda Parelli was working with a skittish horse on a TV show, and said that for these fearful flighty horses you have to be aware of every movement of your hands. That the slightest hand gesture or wiggle means things to the horse. Sherry teaches this.

90% of owners are clueless about what their undisciplined body language produces. Even when they are fairly experienced around horses they are allowing a constant series of inconsistencies. The horse who steps ahead of you on the lead rope as you slow down or stop is the horse who is going to run thru the bit when you ask for a halt, says Sherry. (Learning these skills would give a horse person invaluable insight when horse shopping. You'd understand that certain ground manner behaviors would translate to specific under saddle problems.)

I could see this quite clearly with the students. There is a photo of the owners standing on tires with the horses on a lead rope facing them. In this scenario, they are teaching the horse to stand at relaxed attention, ears forward, eyes on them, goal being for 30 seconds, working up to minutes. Eventually they are also asking the horse to lower its head in relaxation with head below level of withers; then to the ground. The goal, as we work, is to get the responsiveness of the lead rope transferred to liberty. That requires another serious adjustment to both minds.

Attention span for people is harder than attention span for the horse. Lackadaisical attitudes are tough because it says "I don't want to be bother with crossing my tees and dotting my I's" right now, I'm tired/don't care" etc.

Thru Sherry's instruction, she correlated ground work with your in-the-saddle experiences. She taught to use your body, seat, legs, hands---just as if you were in the saddle. Several times I heard her say to someone "you just got bucked off"; "your horse just ran thru the bit". She emphasized this correlation over and over again. You could not take this clinic w/o having your equitation riding improved too.

Part of the first afternoon included leading the horses out onto a quarter section of pasture land---a tenuous but confidence-building time of learning trail riding. How to keep the horse's attention, how to build the partnership, how to be the leader and not the victim of a runaway. I followed them out onto the windswept prairie and after the first mile, waited at the gate for them to return, the destination---a windmill in the distance. The horses and owners came back quieter and more confident than when they headed out. An effective trail ride is built from correct ground work. Safe and happy in the saddle starts on the ground---the ground work means everything!

If the weather had remained sunny I would have gone the other two days. I've photographed many of Sherry Jarvis's local retreats and clinics, and I learn more each time. The women who attend are a friendly and non-judgmental group---always there to learn and support one another. What a great time---laughter, good food, camaraderie.

Thanks for such a great report Julie.

Happy Trails,
Sherry Jarvis

Review of book "Win Your Horse's Heart"

I have read your whole book! I have sat here in my chair with my blanket over me, only interrupted by the occasional break. This book brought me to tears and then to joy. I have dog tagged the pages that I will reread. I loved the stories about Sunshine, Cisco, Dolly, and Slick.

You have written this book well and my congratulations to you for doing such a good job. I’m kinda glad I was sick as it would’ve been VERY difficult to put this one down! I look forward to learning more from you at the clinic in June and many other sessions after that.

Thanks Sherry for being a stabilizing force for me and my wacky thoughts regarding horsemanship. You really get it and it is very apparent-I look forward to the mentor/mentee relationship we can build.

Ok, just read “Trail of Inspiration for the Journey” and I am in tears. I feel like you wrote this for me. My first real trail ride as Cunningham Lake with Michelle was beautiful and without fault. It was magical. Your poem is that day for me.
Michele
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I have the last 15 pages to go before finishing your book, but I already know that it's one of the most important ones I've read. AND I'VE READ 'EM ALL!!!!!

I wanted to congratulate you on your enormous, significant contribution to the wealth of equine training/behavioral literature out there. My own personal opinion is that the reason there "needs" to be so many different "how-to" books on empathetic horsemanship is that the most critical first phase to those books is either always missing, or certainly nowhere nearly as well written and cogently presented as you have done in your new book. That missing element is the entire change in THINKING and BEING that is absolutely necessary before all the very best intentioned techniques can have any hope of effectiveness, let alone success.

I'm about to order 10 more copies as (necessary) gifts. I thank and applaud you again,
Corey
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Your book arrived on Mar. 11th and I have read it from cover to cover. Also, I have highlighted and underlined throughout its entirety. It brought back a flood of memories for me and I did cry where it really touched me. Presently, I am reading from the beginning again and find it difficult to put down.
Joan
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I just finished your book and I loved it!!!!!!!!! I am going to start reading it AGAIN!!
Sharon
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The Key is Balance!

Sherry helping Carol with her mustang Rizo.

After going to the NE Horse Expo in March it occurred to me once again that the key to good horsemanship or learning anything new is balance. I don’t mean the kind of balance where one stays upright without falling down, rather I refer to a mental and emotional steadiness which brings harmony.

A horseman who stays balanced has a stability produced by equality between two sides. When we learn not to lean too far to either side of the road and go at a reasonable speed we will have fewer crashes along the way. An aesthetically pleasing integration of common sense elements will keep you traveling in an upward spiral of success. When a balanced approach is taken your journey will be safer and you’ll have a lot more fun.

Whenever many horse people gather together you will find a variety of different experiences, perspectives, styles, techniques, and purposes being professed and applied. Even though we may all be involved in the same endeavor (HORSEMANSHIP) diversity does abound. But if one looks close enough you can find some common threads of similarity underneath the differences. It takes a discerning eye to recognize both the differences and at the same time the similarities. If you can learn to do this you will be able to stay balanced and your horse will thank you for it.

Part of the balance needed to succeed with horses is having a means of judging and deciding what is right for you and your horse. Every horseman will at some time have to cope with several often conflicting ideas, factors, or situations at the same time. To horse owners this can often be confusing and frustrating. Thus to learn what it takes to become really good with horses and develop a system that works for you and your horse it requires a balance of openness, skepticism and common sense!


Everyone of us hopes to find that holy grail of horse training which will solve every problem we have with our horses. We hope to find a perfect working system which fits every horse and every owner. The problem with every system is horses are masters at pointing out the weakness in any system. So it takes a balanced person who is able to work within a system yet think outside the box in order to resolve our weaknesses and allow the system to accomplish our intention.


I believe that if you are with horses it is because consciously or not, you desire to be challenged and to learn. However you will never learn anything new or gain deeper understanding if you go in with the attitude that a certain “way or training system” is wrong or not for you. I used to compete in rodeos and my beginnings with horses could be considered pointing in an opposite direction from where I am now. I have lived and breathed on opposite sides of two very different systems, but for me they were both pointing at the same thing… the horse! As I reflect on the people, horse and systems which have influenced my brand or style of horsemanship I see they share similarities as well as differences. I choose to focus on the common threads between those two systems which I have experienced, as the truth usually lies somewhere in the middle.


The horse doesn’t care what we call ourselves….natural, dressage, barrel racer, roper, cutter, trail rider, competitor, western, english, professional or amateur, the horse just wants us to understand him mentally, emotionally and physically. I believe I now have a better understanding of people and horses because of my diverse experiences and willingness to live somewhere in balance between openness, skepticism and common sense. Plus I have put myself under a proven training system and at the same time I allow myself to think outside the box when needed. I have also given myself permission to experiment and learn from my mistakes.


We can all learn and benefit from each other because at least in the basic form any performance or discipline you choose does not need to be different from “natural horsemanship”. No matter what activity you do with a horse a solid foundation is needed where you can carry freestyle riding into the finesse it takes to compete at higher levels. We will all be better off, especially the horse, if we begin to focus on the commonalities between our systems and celebrate our strengths rather than our weaknesses.

Happy Trails,

Sherry Jarvis

PS:

A balanced horseman has the ability to stay poised no matter what situation is thrown at him.

New Happenings at Heart in Your Hand Horsemanship

IT IS REALLY HERE!
Sherry's book "Win Your Horse's Heart"(And Become a Better Horseman)


NEW CLASSIFIED PAGE ON WEBSITE
Free to Heart in Your Hand Horsemanship Clients

EARLY BIRD DISCOUNTS FOR CAMPS AND CLINICS
Save up to $200 on a camp and 15% on a clinic.
Deadline for taking advantage of the savings is March 15, 2009.
So register at the Expo and SAVE! Put the money towards fuel to travel.

NE HORSE EXPO
March 13-15, Lancaster Event Center, Lincoln, NE

“WIN YOUR HORSE’S HEART” (And Be a Better Horseman)
Buy your personal signed copy at the Expo: Only $19.99 (tax included)
Also available on-line at Amazon.com or Barnes and Noble
They are only $15.95 on-line but will not be signed plus,
I have to pay about $3.00 shipping to get the books to me,
when it is delivered personally I have to charge sales tax, thus the $19.99 price.

EQUINE MASSAGE DEMONSTRATION BY SHERRY
At NE Horse Expo, Friday March 13th at 5:00 in round pen.
Handouts will be provided. Learn how to relax your horse while building the relationship
and releasing sore tense muscles. Based on Masterson Method.

ENTER TO WIN FREE ITEMS
at Sherry’s Booth at the Expo

Kent Feed and Heart in Your Hand Horsemanship Caps

50 lb Bag of Kent Dynasty Pro Horse Feed

3 Hour Private Lesson with 2 Hour Trail Ride with Sherry
(Only at Sherry’s place near Burwell, you call to set date, non-transferrable)

50% off Women’s Confident Leadership Camp
(Only At Calamus Outfitters May 15-18, non-transferrable)

The drawings for the caps will be during the Question and Answer Sessions and at her demo on Fri. at 5:00.
(Must be present to win)
The drawings for all the other items will be at 3:00 on Sun.
(You do not have to be present to win!)

FREE QUESTION AND ANSWER SESSIONS (At Sherry’s Booth at the Expo)
Come ask Sherry a burning question and fill out a survey to help her better serve your needs.
Fri. 3:00 & 7:00
Sat. 11:00; 3:00 & 7:00
Sun. 11:00 & 1:00

15-20% OFF SMOOTHSTRIDE RIDING PANTS (At Expo booth)
Only a few sizes left from 2008 inventory.

RIDE FOR FREE by Hosing a 2-day Clinic
Hosts a 2-day clinic and positively gets 7 other people signed up with deposits and ride for free.
You will also be required to make arena arrangements, plus a few other duties. For more info go to our hostess page.

NEW CLINICS FOR SPRING!

Young Horse Handling Class: April 1-5 and 24-27
Bring your horse on April first and participate in his natural beginning. Leave him for the rest of the month for Sherry and Erica her intern to work with them. Then come back at the end of the month to pick them up and play with them again under Sherry’s instruction.
Call 308-346-5663 for details.

Authentic Leadership

The buzz word about dealing with horses these days seems to be leadership. But what is authentic leadership? I will start with what authentic leadership is NOT!

I am learning that authentic leadership with either horses or humans is NOT as much about communication as we may think. It is NOT about taking personality or horsenality assessments. Authentic leadership is NOT about focusing on what you think someone else needs. Or giving them what you think they need.

We often think leadership is all about management and control. But that is NOT true authentic leadership either. A heavy focus on management and control is about being the boss. Leadership is NOT about telling others what to do and controlling the outcomes.

The real key in leading others is to understand the difference between managing and controlling versus leadership and leading with people or horses. Authentic leadership is about finding what is important to others, what they need and creating environments where they can reach their own potential. Authentic Leadership starts with being able to lead yourself first! You cannot lead anyone until you can first lead yourself!

You cannot lead yourself until you are really committed to the truth. The truth about yourself and the fundamental core values you have will affect how you lead anyone be it horse or human. You must know what your core values are and be able to define them before you can become an effective leader. You must have a clear idea about who you are what you want to become, and where you want to go before you can lead. Otherwise it is the blind leading the blind.

You cannot lead others until you are willing and able to truly listen to them. Listening to those you are leading is a top priority for an authentic leader. I mean really listening by focusing on every word that comes out of their mouth. Also by watching every move or expression of the horse because that is how he is communicating to you. Everything one does or says means something to them even if it isn’t clear to you. When you really learn to listen you won’t have to tell people or horses what to do or what they need. You will ask them what they need and what you can do to help them?

An authentic leader takes a position of service, rather than what can I do to get the ones I’m am leading to do what I want. Authentic leaders have an attitude that helping others be able to lead themselves is of upmost importance. Then when those you are leading can lead themselves they in return become of service to you.

In order to do this you choose to understand what truly motivates the people or horse you are working with to try harder. You choose to commit more to what is important to them than what is important to you. You choose to create things that they never believed possible to become reality.

Choosing to truly listen and understand those you are leading while serving them will create authentic leadership. When one leads with authentic leadership the product is more authentic leaders not a bunch of blind robots who follow without question, or worse yet a forced performance which causes stress and tension.

You can be what ever you choose to be. This is self-leadership. Believing you can create who you are going to be tomorrow is the first step on Self-Leadership. If you want to be an authentic leader for your horse or anyone else you must master Self-Leadership first.

We have created an on-line survey to ask you what you need so we can help you with it. Please Click Here to fill out our survey. It will help us serve you better so thank you ahead of time for participating.

Happy Trails,
Sherry Jarvis

"Horsemen share knowledge. Showmen hide it in a corner and go home." -- AQHA Judge Dale Livingston

Possibility Thinkers

January always brings a time of reflection for me as I wade through the piles or reciepts trying to figure out my taxes. Each numerical figure I write on the page reminds me about places I've been, the people I have worked with and the things I did throughout the year. With over 16,000 business miles on my car and the opportunity to personally work with over 200 great people eager to learn to be better horsemen it would be hard not to accomplished something. Based on my calculations 2008 was my best year yet despite the high fuel prices, stock market worries, and high unemployment. Both the personal and professional goals I have achieved and those I am still attaining to reach are an important part of my planning for 2009. As a possibility thinker I am setting even high goals for this year despite the doom and gloom stories the new reporters continue to feed us. I have never felt better about who I am, what I am doing, where I am at and the vision I have for the future, which keeps growing.

This month I am one of the guest speakers at MarketPlace Conference for Small Businesses in NE at North Platte. The topic of my presentation is "Creating a Vision for Your Business". As I am preparing the material I will handout I thought it would be a good time to revisit the vision I have for Heart in Your Hand Horsemanship LLC and then revise it once again.

I have trained horses and given riding lessons on and off all of my life, especially in the summer time while I was a school teacher. This has always been my passion but the vision to make it real didn't happen until 1998 when I went to my first natural horsemanship clinic. I knew from that moment forward that my life with horses would never be the same. This was a turning point in my life. On new years day of 2000 I wrote down a goal on a small piece of paper which was the beginning of actually living my dreams. It said, "I want to be doing something with horses where I can make a living at it by the time I am 50 years old." I quit my job 4 years ago to follow this dream and last year I turned 50 so I not only met the goal I have exceeded it above my expectations.

I believe that most of the success of Heart in Your Hand Horsemanship has been due to the leadership skills I have learned through natural horsemanship principles. Everything the horses teach me I have been applying to both my professional and personal life. Whenever I have a difficulty with a horse my first reaction is to believe it will be possible to resolve the difficulty. Second I start digging to see what the problem really is and how it can be solved. I don't just complain about the symptoms I look deep for the root causes. Third I am determined to use practical progressive steps which slowly build confidence and success. I don't get in a hurry to make it happen, rather I allow it to happen because I set it up for success. Fourth I have the drive to not give up until the work is complete.

The secret to horsemanship is being a true leader and it is the secret ingredient to building a business as well. When leading horses our intention and focus must be clear if we desire the horse to follow our suggestions. A horse will flounder without this clarity and so will a business.

Nobody else can set your dreams for you. However, I challenge you to be a possibility thinker this year. Let faith be the force that sets your goals, guides your decisions, solidifies your commitment, and glues everything together allowing the dreams to become reality.
Best Wishes,
Sherry Jarvis